5 Tips for a Meaningful Thanksgiving with Loved Ones Experiencing Cognitive Decline or Dementia
by Heather Gately
Thanksgiving is a time for family, food, and gratitude, but for families affected by
cognitive decline or dementia, it can also present unique challenges. With some
thoughtful adjustments, Thanksgiving can still be a joyful, inclusive experience that
honors everyone present. Here are five ways to make the holiday meaningful,
comforting, and enjoyable for all.
1. Simplify the Environment
Crowded rooms, loud music, and bustling energy can overwhelm someone with
cognitive decline or dementia. Aim to create a calm, familiar environment by reducing
noise, dimming harsh lighting, and limiting the number of guests.
Invite only close family or friends who bring comfort, minimizing large gatherings.
Set up a quiet area where they can relax with soft lighting, comfortable seating, and
perhaps a favorite book or photo album.
Play familiar music at a low volume, gentle instrumental holiday tunes or classic
songs they enjoy can add warmth without overwhelming.
2. Create a Safe and Structured Space
Routine and structure provide comfort and predictability for those with cognitive
challenges. Organizing the day around familiar activities can help them feel more at
ease.
Serve meals at regular times and consider offering familiar foods they love and
recognize to create a sense of familiarity and comfort.
Stick to a loose timeline for the day, including quiet moments, meal prep, or a walk.
Designate an “escape spot” in case they need a break from activity, having a cozy
room where they can rest or sit quietly can be a welcome refuge from the day’s energy.
3. Honor Memories with Familiar Activities
Many people with cognitive decline find comfort in familiar activities or traditions that
evoke positive memories. Revisiting cherished memories can help them feel connected
and bring everyone closer.
Look through photo albums from past Thanksgivings and holidays, allowing them to
share any stories or recognize familiar faces.
Watch a favorite holiday movie or classic TV show, especially if it’s something they
have loved for years. This can be calming and spark joyful memories.
Share family recipes and ask them to reminisce about their favorite Thanksgiving
dishes, or let them help in the kitchen if they are able—rolling out dough, arranging
garnishes, or taste-testing can be delightful and grounding.
4. Engage with Meaningful, Simple Tasks
Small, manageable tasks can help someone with cognitive decline feel included and
purposeful. Simple activities provide a sense of accomplishment while reinforcing their
place in the family gathering.
Ask for help with table-setting by handing them napkins, silverware, or decorative
items to arrange. Even small tasks can give them pride and purpose.
Peel or wash vegetables together, giving them something tactile and repetitive to
engage in.
Create a holiday craft with them, such as making simple paper decorations, tying
ribbons around napkins, or assembling small centerpieces. These hands-on activities
help them feel connected to the event.
5. Be Present and Adapt Expectations
Holiday gatherings often come with high expectations, but flexibility is key. Cognitive
challenges can bring unpredictability, so it’s essential to adapt and stay focused on the
present.
Be patient and compassionate if things don’t go as planned, keep your
expectations realistic and centered on simply being together.
Engage in conversation without correcting or testing memories, avoid questions
like “Remember this?” that can cause anxiety. Instead, simply talk about the present or
any memories they volunteer.
Focus on quality time, whether it’s sharing a laugh, a song, or a simple story.
Celebrate the connection you have, even if it looks different than in years past.
Embrace the Gratitude
At its core, Thanksgiving is about gratitude. Take a moment to appreciate the simple,
present connections with your loved one, even in the face of cognitive challenges. With
thoughtful planning and patience, this Thanksgiving can be filled with connection and
memories to cherish for years to come.